The Turning Point

The birth of Mary's and Thau Tua's twins is indeed a happy occasion. But not for others....some babies came into this world~unwelcome !
Let me share this ......

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There were those moments when the challenges of living makes life a brutal journey.

I, sometimes question myself.

Why Lord Buddha gave me life when it has no meaning.


Why create me only to allow me to see the suffering of life and none of the joy.


Why bring me into this world if I am only going to see the sadness of it.


If Lord Buddha hears my heart, why doesn't he answer me ?


I needed HIM desperately but I cannot feel his presence.



How much longer must I endure the darkness before I embrace the light ?


Will I make it through another day?



I looked at the ladies that came before me and I wonder if maybe we are the cursed species.



Maybe I angered Lord Buddha and HE is punishing me now. I don’t believe that The Lord that pray to everyday could curse me but sometimes I doubt it all. Perhaps...all my previous actions were the opposites of HIS teachings.





The seats in the waiting room filled with girls and women but no sign of any male.

At the reception counter, they asked for my name, age, address, and telephone number and there were a lot of questions about my health.


I was given a piece of document. I was told to read and understand it's content thoroughly before I place my signature at the bottom. I was hesitating but I signed it anyway.



As I am awaiting for my turn...many things were circulating in my mind.


Should I or shouldn't I ?

Moments later, my name was called. "Ann , Ann Lim, please come in!



With a heavy heart, I walked through the door.


The lady told me to follow her to an adjacent room.


I wondered what would happen next.

She passed me a green robe and a huge plastic bag. She told me to change and place all my belongings into the bag.



Later, she led me into a tiny room where I sat on a chair.


She took my blood pressure, and stuck my finger with a needle, I assume checking for anemia, though I'm really not sure.

My heart sank to my toes when I saw the bed. I was instructed to lie down and relax.


I had this strange feeling as I overheard a voice inside me yelling to me ..."Mummy, don't do this to me."

I looked up and noticed several nurses were busy preparing the necessary stuff for the procedure. Although, they assured me that everything will be fine....I began to get frightened at the descriptions.

When the senior nurse approached me to sedate me for the surgery.....I was suddenly awaken from my dream.

Suddenly, I realised that I'm going to regret if I proceed with this. The fear creeps along my inside until I'm suffocating. I'll be surrounded with guilt ..so much guilt...for life..till I die. I'm extremely petrified of the vulnerability of my actions.

I yelled...."I give up..I give up.....I don't want to do it.....I don't want to abort my child.

I know my suffering might not be so terrible compares to my unborn child.

I am adamant to bring this child into this world and know that I can make it through this dark moment.
I know I can...and seven years had passed.