Inferiority Complex syndrome...hmmmm ! Yup...I seemed to be suffering from it immensely.
Inferiority complex is implanted in me..... filled with insecurities where I constantly bring myself down. I always view myself as inferior and others as superior.
Guess I need to emancipate myself from this "mental slavery"...! Need to overcome it.
The recent reunion was a bit hard for me to swallow. I was overwhelmed with self conscious. Many of my friends are successful in their choice of careers..I can say all of them. I felt rather small compared to them...
Most of my buddies had graduated at 23-24 but I'm just starting to get one at 36..!
There's nothing more depressing than thinking they're already off at their careers ..climbing up the corporate ladders.....almost reaching the peaks....while I'm stuck here with my teaching job.... I feel inferior.
Well..it takes some guts to write what I just blogged about. But I'm blurting it out here....straight from my heart. Am I suffering from inferiority complex..?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Reunion
An eagle flew down and caught a sheep with it’s majestic claws and flew away.
A crow was watching with amazement.
“What a brave bird with great strength! I think I can also do what the eagle just did”, thought the crow.
Therefore, it flew to a group of sheep. He tried to grab a sheep but failed. The cries of the sheep attracted the shepherd. The shepherd caught him instead.
He was placed in a cage. He was sad because he could not fly freely like his peers now. The crow regretted doing something which was beyond his ability.
The crow did not realize that he was much smaller and weaker than the eagle.
Moral of the story…..“Do something which is within your means.”
Another story...
I attended a reunion date of sort with my former schoolmates recently. We have lost touch with each other for almost 20 years. We went separate ways to pursue our dreams and career after SPM in 1988. Yup….20 years already. Time flies.
Though it was great to be able to meet my “Lau Peng Yew” but I felt a lil embarrass and small….as I noticed many of my friends hold important and high positions in their respective jobs. There are two doctor, several engineers, bankers, managers, lecturers…..and I’m just an ordinary school teacher. Some were based in overseas like UK, Australia, China and Kuala Lumpur. And me…still remained in a small township called Butterworth. The furthest over~the~sea that I go is “Pulau Pinang”. What a contrast..!
My friends are mostly graduates with MBAs or at least a degree. Meanwhile I’m still struggling with my FIRST degree at the ripe ol age of 36. Perhaps, I was suffering from low self esteem..huh.!
Low self esteem…was I ?
Back to the Crow story. Years ago, I was unable to further my studies due to the many constrains..(financial, opportunity, commitment…etc). Therefore, it’s not too late for me to do it now even though I’m at such advance age. As a mature student, probably I have the advantages over my peers, whereby I’m able to apply theories with my experiences.
Therefore… it’s still correct for me to say ……..“Do something which is within your means.” . I don’t wanna be like the poor crow.
We emerged from the same school…the similar level then. Right after our SPM, we ventured out to further our studies with some to Form 6, Pre U, Colleges,….and handful started working. But now you see the vast differences…most of them turned out to be successful and prominent figures. Some are more successful than the others.
Career wise…I can say that all are successful including yours truly la. No bad what holding a noble job like teaching. (self proclaimed…..pacifying myself a lil bit la.)
Some are happily married, while others were once upon a time happily married. A few choose to remain solo. Some with kids in tow, some still childless, some decided not to have any (to avoid responsibilities and headache). No comment on this. Everyone has their rights to decide what is good for them.
During the meeting, all of us were happy to be able to get in touch after such a long break. 20 years…macam macam can happened !
You could see the happiness in us when we embraced each other. The surprised looks…the wah……oh……woooo…..just like the sweet 17 we were once like..!
We still looked the same except the extra pounds we gained over the years due to childbirth and age. And also the extra lines on our forehead as we matured. Other than that…..we’re still the young energetic 17 year old.
All of us parted with a vow that night. We promised to keep in touch with each other. Gatherings like this would definitely be an annual affair.
A crow was watching with amazement.
“What a brave bird with great strength! I think I can also do what the eagle just did”, thought the crow.
Therefore, it flew to a group of sheep. He tried to grab a sheep but failed. The cries of the sheep attracted the shepherd. The shepherd caught him instead.
He was placed in a cage. He was sad because he could not fly freely like his peers now. The crow regretted doing something which was beyond his ability.
The crow did not realize that he was much smaller and weaker than the eagle.
Moral of the story…..“Do something which is within your means.”
Another story...
I attended a reunion date of sort with my former schoolmates recently. We have lost touch with each other for almost 20 years. We went separate ways to pursue our dreams and career after SPM in 1988. Yup….20 years already. Time flies.
Though it was great to be able to meet my “Lau Peng Yew” but I felt a lil embarrass and small….as I noticed many of my friends hold important and high positions in their respective jobs. There are two doctor, several engineers, bankers, managers, lecturers…..and I’m just an ordinary school teacher. Some were based in overseas like UK, Australia, China and Kuala Lumpur. And me…still remained in a small township called Butterworth. The furthest over~the~sea that I go is “Pulau Pinang”. What a contrast..!
My friends are mostly graduates with MBAs or at least a degree. Meanwhile I’m still struggling with my FIRST degree at the ripe ol age of 36. Perhaps, I was suffering from low self esteem..huh.!
Low self esteem…was I ?
Back to the Crow story. Years ago, I was unable to further my studies due to the many constrains..(financial, opportunity, commitment…etc). Therefore, it’s not too late for me to do it now even though I’m at such advance age. As a mature student, probably I have the advantages over my peers, whereby I’m able to apply theories with my experiences.
Therefore… it’s still correct for me to say ……..“Do something which is within your means.” . I don’t wanna be like the poor crow.
We emerged from the same school…the similar level then. Right after our SPM, we ventured out to further our studies with some to Form 6, Pre U, Colleges,….and handful started working. But now you see the vast differences…most of them turned out to be successful and prominent figures. Some are more successful than the others.
Career wise…I can say that all are successful including yours truly la. No bad what holding a noble job like teaching. (self proclaimed…..pacifying myself a lil bit la.)
Some are happily married, while others were once upon a time happily married. A few choose to remain solo. Some with kids in tow, some still childless, some decided not to have any (to avoid responsibilities and headache). No comment on this. Everyone has their rights to decide what is good for them.
During the meeting, all of us were happy to be able to get in touch after such a long break. 20 years…macam macam can happened !
You could see the happiness in us when we embraced each other. The surprised looks…the wah……oh……woooo…..just like the sweet 17 we were once like..!
We still looked the same except the extra pounds we gained over the years due to childbirth and age. And also the extra lines on our forehead as we matured. Other than that…..we’re still the young energetic 17 year old.
All of us parted with a vow that night. We promised to keep in touch with each other. Gatherings like this would definitely be an annual affair.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sore Throat Gone
Sore Throat finally gone.....I'd had a sore throat for the past few days or so. Normally all I have to do is increase my water intake, suck on a lozenge and try to get extra sleep and that does the trick.
The sores hurt like crazy when I tried to speak. It was severe on Sunday...when I was attending my tutorial.
Anyway, it was almost gone yesterday and today I truly feel free. Hooray! So glad to be done with that! Oh, I forgot, I also tried gargling with salt in water which ended up being too spicy for me but I also put some salt in my can of coke.... which did seem to have a positive effect.
Now..I'm all hale and healthy. I managed to emerge from laryngitis unscathed..! I lost my sexy voice...
This will be my last post on sore throat.
I have this info to share.
When body is under stress, one need more Vitamin C than usual. A glass of orange juice will provide the extra supply. Dehydration is a nother source of stress~drink plenty of water throughout the day... ...yes plain water ; not caffeine ! Exercising actually burns up stress chemical accumulating in the body. After the vigorous activity, the body feels more relaxed and energetic.
The sores hurt like crazy when I tried to speak. It was severe on Sunday...when I was attending my tutorial.
Anyway, it was almost gone yesterday and today I truly feel free. Hooray! So glad to be done with that! Oh, I forgot, I also tried gargling with salt in water which ended up being too spicy for me but I also put some salt in my can of coke.... which did seem to have a positive effect.
Now..I'm all hale and healthy. I managed to emerge from laryngitis unscathed..! I lost my sexy voice...
This will be my last post on sore throat.
I have this info to share.
When body is under stress, one need more Vitamin C than usual. A glass of orange juice will provide the extra supply. Dehydration is a nother source of stress~drink plenty of water throughout the day... ...yes plain water ; not caffeine ! Exercising actually burns up stress chemical accumulating in the body. After the vigorous activity, the body feels more relaxed and energetic.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Voice
My voice is hoarse after a bout with sore throat and I kinda like it as it sounded so sexy. Husky voice…wow very sexy..! Yesterday was bad…my voice was so scratchy. And of course the terrible pain I had to endure....due to soreness in my inner throat. Each time, I utter a word, the ulcers were obstructing my voice.. and causes the pain.
So I kept swallowing litres of water the entire day and practically ate nothing solid. My voice recovered after a complete rest today. As today is a holiday, I slept throughout the day…long hours. After preparing lunch and settled my boy off to school. I hibernated in my room.... like the polars in winter.....oblivious to my surroundings!
If not for my tuition, I would have resumed my sleep till the next morning. No..la…too much sleep tends to make me dizzy. I was up and awake by late evening to prepare dinner. Due to my poor appetite, I made two simple dish. Though my boy is a picky but he seems to cooperate at this time..when his mummy is sick ! He's indeed an obedient child. Mummy sayang you..muaaahhhh !
My voice is at the recovery stage. I talk less during my tuition class just now. One of my student even commented on my hoarse voice. She said I sounded like the late Anita Mui. Wow… “Ann Mui”..the soprano ! Thanks to my laryngitis, I’ve gotten such soothy vocal cords minus the high C..... Hahaha.
The truth is… I hardly spoken much today. It’s still painful to talk. Ouch..my throat !
A big fish will not get into trouble if it keeps it's big mouth shut...ya..I wouldn't feel the pain if I don't talk. Great...
So I kept swallowing litres of water the entire day and practically ate nothing solid. My voice recovered after a complete rest today. As today is a holiday, I slept throughout the day…long hours. After preparing lunch and settled my boy off to school. I hibernated in my room.... like the polars in winter.....oblivious to my surroundings!
If not for my tuition, I would have resumed my sleep till the next morning. No..la…too much sleep tends to make me dizzy. I was up and awake by late evening to prepare dinner. Due to my poor appetite, I made two simple dish. Though my boy is a picky but he seems to cooperate at this time..when his mummy is sick ! He's indeed an obedient child. Mummy sayang you..muaaahhhh !
My voice is at the recovery stage. I talk less during my tuition class just now. One of my student even commented on my hoarse voice. She said I sounded like the late Anita Mui. Wow… “Ann Mui”..the soprano ! Thanks to my laryngitis, I’ve gotten such soothy vocal cords minus the high C..... Hahaha.
The truth is… I hardly spoken much today. It’s still painful to talk. Ouch..my throat !
A big fish will not get into trouble if it keeps it's big mouth shut...ya..I wouldn't feel the pain if I don't talk. Great...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Nursing a terrible sore throat
Sigh..!! Yesterday, I felt so sick due to sore throat. Dizzy due to headache. Though not well, I still have to go back to school. Saturday...? Yup. My school organized a "Familython" to build up our PIBG fund. I was in charged of language games- "Charade". A sign language game. Ya...what a coincidence huh..I was suffering from sore-throat and I dealt with sign language game. haha. This activity was planned months before....and now I lost my voice. Luckily, I had a few colleagues helping me.
Today @ I had to attend my uni tutorial the entire day...4 slots of 2 hours each.
8.00 am -5.30pm. This week is my 4th tutorial. Hand over my assignments to my lecturers.
Felt so drowsy in class. Unable to concentrate as I wasn't feeling well.
I didnt really pay much attention during lectures.... ZZZ !
Couldn't catch what the lecturers said.....!
No mood...! No energy ! So sick.
Need to sleep....
Tomorrow, is an off day. (replacement of Familython). I will probably sleep like a log thru out the day. Hopefully to be fully charge after a good rest.
Good night.
Today @ I had to attend my uni tutorial the entire day...4 slots of 2 hours each.
8.00 am -5.30pm. This week is my 4th tutorial. Hand over my assignments to my lecturers.
Felt so drowsy in class. Unable to concentrate as I wasn't feeling well.
I didnt really pay much attention during lectures.... ZZZ !
Couldn't catch what the lecturers said.....!
No mood...! No energy ! So sick.
Need to sleep....
Tomorrow, is an off day. (replacement of Familython). I will probably sleep like a log thru out the day. Hopefully to be fully charge after a good rest.
Good night.
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