Big breath in
big breath out
Let's begin a blog~xercise
Inhale
Yes, I have decided
Exhale
Great, I have decided
Time to inhale
again.....
un-plug T.V.
un-plug DVD
un-plug computer
Exhale........Keep breathing
Okay....I am taking a couple of days off from posting!
Have lovely days ahead.....
See..ya..!
Y A W N....!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Turning Point
The birth of Mary's and Thau Tua's twins is indeed a happy occasion. But not for others....some babies came into this world~unwelcome !
Let me share this ......
~~~~~~~~~~
There were those moments when the challenges of living makes life a brutal journey.
I, sometimes question myself.
Why Lord Buddha gave me life when it has no meaning.
Why create me only to allow me to see the suffering of life and none of the joy.
Why bring me into this world if I am only going to see the sadness of it.
If Lord Buddha hears my heart, why doesn't he answer me ?
I needed HIM desperately but I cannot feel his presence.
How much longer must I endure the darkness before I embrace the light ?
Will I make it through another day?
I looked at the ladies that came before me and I wonder if maybe we are the cursed species.
Maybe I angered Lord Buddha and HE is punishing me now. I don’t believe that The Lord that pray to everyday could curse me but sometimes I doubt it all. Perhaps...all my previous actions were the opposites of HIS teachings.
The seats in the waiting room filled with girls and women but no sign of any male.
At the reception counter, they asked for my name, age, address, and telephone number and there were a lot of questions about my health.
I was given a piece of document. I was told to read and understand it's content thoroughly before I place my signature at the bottom. I was hesitating but I signed it anyway.
As I am awaiting for my turn...many things were circulating in my mind.
Should I or shouldn't I ?
Moments later, my name was called. "Ann , Ann Lim, please come in!
With a heavy heart, I walked through the door.
The lady told me to follow her to an adjacent room.
I wondered what would happen next.
She passed me a green robe and a huge plastic bag. She told me to change and place all my belongings into the bag.
Later, she led me into a tiny room where I sat on a chair.
She took my blood pressure, and stuck my finger with a needle, I assume checking for anemia, though I'm really not sure.
My heart sank to my toes when I saw the bed. I was instructed to lie down and relax.
I had this strange feeling as I overheard a voice inside me yelling to me ..."Mummy, don't do this to me."
I looked up and noticed several nurses were busy preparing the necessary stuff for the procedure. Although, they assured me that everything will be fine....I began to get frightened at the descriptions.
When the senior nurse approached me to sedate me for the surgery.....I was suddenly awaken from my dream.
Suddenly, I realised that I'm going to regret if I proceed with this. The fear creeps along my inside until I'm suffocating. I'll be surrounded with guilt ..so much guilt...for life..till I die. I'm extremely petrified of the vulnerability of my actions.
I yelled...."I give up..I give up.....I don't want to do it.....I don't want to abort my child.
I know my suffering might not be so terrible compares to my unborn child.
I am adamant to bring this child into this world and know that I can make it through this dark moment.
I know I can...and seven years had passed.
Let me share this ......
~~~~~~~~~~
There were those moments when the challenges of living makes life a brutal journey.
I, sometimes question myself.
Why Lord Buddha gave me life when it has no meaning.
Why create me only to allow me to see the suffering of life and none of the joy.
Why bring me into this world if I am only going to see the sadness of it.
If Lord Buddha hears my heart, why doesn't he answer me ?
I needed HIM desperately but I cannot feel his presence.
How much longer must I endure the darkness before I embrace the light ?
Will I make it through another day?
I looked at the ladies that came before me and I wonder if maybe we are the cursed species.
Maybe I angered Lord Buddha and HE is punishing me now. I don’t believe that The Lord that pray to everyday could curse me but sometimes I doubt it all. Perhaps...all my previous actions were the opposites of HIS teachings.
The seats in the waiting room filled with girls and women but no sign of any male.
At the reception counter, they asked for my name, age, address, and telephone number and there were a lot of questions about my health.
I was given a piece of document. I was told to read and understand it's content thoroughly before I place my signature at the bottom. I was hesitating but I signed it anyway.
As I am awaiting for my turn...many things were circulating in my mind.
Should I or shouldn't I ?
Moments later, my name was called. "Ann , Ann Lim, please come in!
With a heavy heart, I walked through the door.
The lady told me to follow her to an adjacent room.
I wondered what would happen next.
She passed me a green robe and a huge plastic bag. She told me to change and place all my belongings into the bag.
Later, she led me into a tiny room where I sat on a chair.
She took my blood pressure, and stuck my finger with a needle, I assume checking for anemia, though I'm really not sure.
My heart sank to my toes when I saw the bed. I was instructed to lie down and relax.
I had this strange feeling as I overheard a voice inside me yelling to me ..."Mummy, don't do this to me."
I looked up and noticed several nurses were busy preparing the necessary stuff for the procedure. Although, they assured me that everything will be fine....I began to get frightened at the descriptions.
When the senior nurse approached me to sedate me for the surgery.....I was suddenly awaken from my dream.
Suddenly, I realised that I'm going to regret if I proceed with this. The fear creeps along my inside until I'm suffocating. I'll be surrounded with guilt ..so much guilt...for life..till I die. I'm extremely petrified of the vulnerability of my actions.
I yelled...."I give up..I give up.....I don't want to do it.....I don't want to abort my child.
I know my suffering might not be so terrible compares to my unborn child.
I am adamant to bring this child into this world and know that I can make it through this dark moment.
I know I can...and seven years had passed.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Child Birth (12)
As a first time mother.....an ill-informed one....Mary was pretty naive.
She only read about the birthing process thru books......only theories but not practically.
Mary was rushed into the delivery suite....her water bag burst.
The pain...It was so unbearable at one point that Mary was trembling ....
She tried taking in gas but she used it wrongly.
As a results, she hyperventilated.
she felt very ‘high’ and drowsy.
But the pain was still there.
Finally she requested for an epidural.
When it was time to push, Mary was like a robot, being told when to push.
Thau Tua was of no help at all.....as he was panicky most of the time.
However..he did provide comforting words of encouragements to his wife.
He also relieved Mary's pain by massaging her from time to time.
Mary gave a cry as the pain was immense.
The midwife said that Mary was fully dilated.
Mary could start to push.
Mary pushed for about 5-10 minutes.......and then stopped in between.
Slowly baby was guided out with a forceps.
Baby 1.....emerged. It's a HE....Thau Tua's junior.
Next....baby number 2. It's a SHE.....a replica of Mary.
A set of twins....for Thau Tua and Mary.
A mixture of English and Chinese.
Slanted eyes....with blue eyeballs...great blendings.
Thau Tua's hands was trembling as he cut his babies' umbilical cords.
Coming out into the world for the first time !
Out from the darkness in the womb.
It was indeed comforting for the babies to hear Mummy's voice from the outside.
THAT moment was precious and priceless.
After cuddling the babies for a good 15 minutes, Mary let the nurses clean and weigh her babies.
Ah Boy was 2.4 kg meanwhile Ah Girl was 1.8 kg.
Later the babies were placed in an incubator due to their prematurity.
Nevertheless.....Mother and babies were well and healthy.
She only read about the birthing process thru books......only theories but not practically.
Mary was rushed into the delivery suite....her water bag burst.
The pain...It was so unbearable at one point that Mary was trembling ....
She tried taking in gas but she used it wrongly.
As a results, she hyperventilated.
she felt very ‘high’ and drowsy.
But the pain was still there.
Finally she requested for an epidural.
When it was time to push, Mary was like a robot, being told when to push.
Thau Tua was of no help at all.....as he was panicky most of the time.
However..he did provide comforting words of encouragements to his wife.
He also relieved Mary's pain by massaging her from time to time.
Mary gave a cry as the pain was immense.
The midwife said that Mary was fully dilated.
Mary could start to push.
Mary pushed for about 5-10 minutes.......and then stopped in between.
Slowly baby was guided out with a forceps.
Baby 1.....emerged. It's a HE....Thau Tua's junior.
Next....baby number 2. It's a SHE.....a replica of Mary.
A set of twins....for Thau Tua and Mary.
A mixture of English and Chinese.
Slanted eyes....with blue eyeballs...great blendings.
Thau Tua's hands was trembling as he cut his babies' umbilical cords.
Coming out into the world for the first time !
Out from the darkness in the womb.
It was indeed comforting for the babies to hear Mummy's voice from the outside.
THAT moment was precious and priceless.
After cuddling the babies for a good 15 minutes, Mary let the nurses clean and weigh her babies.
Ah Boy was 2.4 kg meanwhile Ah Girl was 1.8 kg.
Later the babies were placed in an incubator due to their prematurity.
Nevertheless.....Mother and babies were well and healthy.
Mary was still undergoing her third stage...."after birth" process.
Meanwhile Thau Tua had left the room to meet the Lim's clan whom were waiting outside.
The announcement of the birth of his son and daughter.
Traditional Chinese Confinement....in my next post.
Monday, September 8, 2008
A Life Drama (11)
Mary experienced some stomach discomfort.
Something's happening in her tummy.
It was all Thau Tua's fault.
Deep inside Mary's abdomen.....it was this mysterious cave
.....believed to be a magical kingdom.
There was a large ship carrying a brigade of Spermido pirates.
These pirates were in search of this much-desired treasure.
On their way through the rugged terrain, they fought past many dangerous perils.
A total of 20 million pirates swam an ocean of mucus.
And fought with their swords.
There were many fatalities along the way.
A horrible battle happening deep inside.
It was a known fact that the strongest, fastest and most powerful pirate got the chance to enter the magical kingdom to meet Queen.
At the end of the day.....
The one and only...... lucky pirate ....
The sole pirate would be declared as the champion.
And be rewarded with the glowing treasure.
That particular pirate could unlock the tightly bound enclosure with his....
super manly....strength.
The heroic pirate wandered through the dark tunnel of fallopian alleys.
That was the preserved territory known as Uterusia.
The Uterusia was ruled by the all mighty Queen Mary~Fertila` de~Egg.
Her compelling beauty and power of her ovum radiance attracted millions of pirates to her magical kingdom every month.
The pirate then settled down with Mary~Fertila`de~Egg in Uterusia for a period of nine months.
The pirate together with Mary~Fertila` de~Egg then create a new life for the kingdom of conception.
That was the beautiful act of Thau Tua and Mary on their wedding night.
Something's happening in her tummy.
It was all Thau Tua's fault.
Deep inside Mary's abdomen.....it was this mysterious cave
.....believed to be a magical kingdom.
There was a large ship carrying a brigade of Spermido pirates.
These pirates were in search of this much-desired treasure.
On their way through the rugged terrain, they fought past many dangerous perils.
A total of 20 million pirates swam an ocean of mucus.
And fought with their swords.
There were many fatalities along the way.
A horrible battle happening deep inside.
It was a known fact that the strongest, fastest and most powerful pirate got the chance to enter the magical kingdom to meet Queen.
At the end of the day.....
The one and only...... lucky pirate ....
The sole pirate would be declared as the champion.
And be rewarded with the glowing treasure.
That particular pirate could unlock the tightly bound enclosure with his....
super manly....strength.
The heroic pirate wandered through the dark tunnel of fallopian alleys.
That was the preserved territory known as Uterusia.
The Uterusia was ruled by the all mighty Queen Mary~Fertila` de~Egg.
Her compelling beauty and power of her ovum radiance attracted millions of pirates to her magical kingdom every month.
The pirate then settled down with Mary~Fertila`de~Egg in Uterusia for a period of nine months.
The pirate together with Mary~Fertila` de~Egg then create a new life for the kingdom of conception.
That was the beautiful act of Thau Tua and Mary on their wedding night.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Expecting (10)
Thau Tua noticed a bluish box lying on the wash basin.
Curiousity....he took a closer look at it. He had never seen such a thing...before.
A rather perculiar rectangular stick which looked like a thermometer but without any readings. There were two fainted red lines on the surface.
Thau Tua was worried death.....as he recalled about how sickly his wife was.
Mary was unwell for the past one week. Feeling nauseating and loss of appetite. She seemed to be tired most of the time. All of a sudden, she hated her favourite dish ~ sushi. And then she has this passion for unripe baby mangoes.
Yesterday....Mary threw-up a few times...and Thau Tua thought she must had down with food poisoning. He wanted to take her to the doc...but Mary refused...and just wanted to take a proper rest at home.
Thau Tua turned the package which he was still holding........and he could not believe what he saw. He was liberatingly jumping with joy.
A moment he was worried sick of his wifey's condition...and next he was overjoyed with excitement.
The word...."Home Pregnancy Test Kit" was boldly inprinted on the box.
Thau Tua ran downstairs ....as fast as he could...with the towel wrapping his jewel almost falling off......
"Ah..... Ma,..... Mu....mmy....., Leng.... Tua.......hey...everybody....!"
"Mary.....Mary is pregnant.....and I'm gonna be a daddy soon.......horray...my son....opps...my daughter....I want both...".
Everyone in the household was shocken by Thau Tua's scream. They quickly went to the living room....to check the commotions.
Ah Ma was laughing with joy. Mummy was seen lighting joss-sticks to thank God and the ancestors for blessing them with a future generation.
Thau Tua hugged Mary as soon as she emerged from the kitchen.
Ah Ma reprimanded her grandson, "Hey..don't be too rough with her...you're going to hurt my darling great grandson inside....!"
"Opps....are you alright darling...?", Thau Tua quickly releases Mary and led her to the sofa.
"Sit...sit down...you need to take plenty of rest.....don't exert yourself."
Ah Ma instructed Madam Lim Lau Bo to prepare nutritious herbs for Mary. And not forgetting bird nest soup too.
Thau Tua is reminded over and again refrain from moving any furniture in his bedroom.
"Let me phone Daddy to share with him the good news."....lamented Leng Tua.
Mary was a lil embarrassed over the entire incident. She became the limelight of the entire household. Everybody is focusing their attention on her.
Curiousity....he took a closer look at it. He had never seen such a thing...before.
A rather perculiar rectangular stick which looked like a thermometer but without any readings. There were two fainted red lines on the surface.
Thau Tua was worried death.....as he recalled about how sickly his wife was.
Mary was unwell for the past one week. Feeling nauseating and loss of appetite. She seemed to be tired most of the time. All of a sudden, she hated her favourite dish ~ sushi. And then she has this passion for unripe baby mangoes.
Yesterday....Mary threw-up a few times...and Thau Tua thought she must had down with food poisoning. He wanted to take her to the doc...but Mary refused...and just wanted to take a proper rest at home.
Thau Tua turned the package which he was still holding........and he could not believe what he saw. He was liberatingly jumping with joy.
A moment he was worried sick of his wifey's condition...and next he was overjoyed with excitement.
The word...."Home Pregnancy Test Kit" was boldly inprinted on the box.
Thau Tua ran downstairs ....as fast as he could...with the towel wrapping his jewel almost falling off......
"Ah..... Ma,..... Mu....mmy....., Leng.... Tua.......hey...everybody....!"
"Mary.....Mary is pregnant.....and I'm gonna be a daddy soon.......horray...my son....opps...my daughter....I want both...".
Everyone in the household was shocken by Thau Tua's scream. They quickly went to the living room....to check the commotions.
Ah Ma was laughing with joy. Mummy was seen lighting joss-sticks to thank God and the ancestors for blessing them with a future generation.
Thau Tua hugged Mary as soon as she emerged from the kitchen.
Ah Ma reprimanded her grandson, "Hey..don't be too rough with her...you're going to hurt my darling great grandson inside....!"
"Opps....are you alright darling...?", Thau Tua quickly releases Mary and led her to the sofa.
"Sit...sit down...you need to take plenty of rest.....don't exert yourself."
Ah Ma instructed Madam Lim Lau Bo to prepare nutritious herbs for Mary. And not forgetting bird nest soup too.
Thau Tua is reminded over and again refrain from moving any furniture in his bedroom.
"Let me phone Daddy to share with him the good news."....lamented Leng Tua.
Mary was a lil embarrassed over the entire incident. She became the limelight of the entire household. Everybody is focusing their attention on her.
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