Hope

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome

related to events and circumstances in one's life.

Hope implies a certain amount of despair

wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance

believing that a better

positive outcome is possible

even when there is some evidence to the contrary.

Hope is to wish for something

with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled.

People often say hope dies last

I believe this to be true

When I have nothing left to believe in

Hope gives me the courage to hold on

Giving me the strength that I didn't know I had

Hope picks me up so I can continue on

It fills me with warmth

It encircles me with safety

It keeps me strong in times of despair

And just when I think I'm all alone.

But it does exists just at the right time.

Behind storm clouds lies a silver lining.

I was so overwhelmed by my troublesome uni matters since the start of 2008. It badly affected and crippled my daily lives. I was so extremely down over it until I lost a few pounds...ya you can say that I looked slimmer now. I even gotten a nickname from my mum..."Lidi".



However, finally this ordeal is almost over now. I managed to get what I deserve. Though I only won the battle partially but it's already better than losing completely. It's gonna be extra work for me as I have to take extra papers this Semester. But..with Lord Buddha's blessings, I'm sure I can brisk thru this hurdle easily. "Ann, Sure Boleh".





Behind storm clouds lies a silver lining.









One can't be experiencing down falls all her life. There's sure to be certain time where she could face some lucky stars. As for me, I'm thankful that my ordeal has finally ended though not exactly 100 percent on my side but I'm satisfied with the outcome.

As I'm unable to turn back the clock and alter history...I will just look forward to what is bout to come and work towards it.


I'm truly thankful to a very special friend, whom had been very supportive and often offers word of encouragements during those difficult moments. Thanks....V.

Rapunzel

I had been neglecting my poor boy for such a long time. Hey..I still see to his daily needs except that I hardly spend quality time with him. I rarely talk to him or listen to him due to my hectic schedules. I felt really guilty about that. Due to my recent "topsy turvy" condition....I had almost "lost myself" and "mentally unsound". To be honest, I have not really spend much "quality moments" with my boy. As a mother...I felt really GUILTY over my actions. How selfish I am..huh?

Therefore..I gave myself a hard slap and reminded myself that I need to do something to make up the lost time before it's too late. Sorry boy...please forgive mummy.
I realised that what is more important than my boy. So..I am going to brush aside all my problems from now on....and carry on with life.


Now that I had finished my exams, I decided to spend an evening with him...just the two of us. Candle light dinner to compensate the lost time...hahahaha.


Had a sumptious dinner with him at a Japanese restaurant. (FYI, my boy fancied Jap food. Both of us shared the similar taste bud). Later, we had dessert at Swesen's. Phew...more than one hundred ringgit gone....but it's ok la..once in a while !


Later that Saturday night, as we were cuddling in bed, my boy requested for a bedtime story. I told him to choose his favourite book from our mini library in the study. He personally hand picked the story "Rapunzel". How many of you guys know this story ?


Rapunzel was a princess who was imprisoned in a tall tower by her wicked stepmother out of jealousy for her beauty. And finally a handsome prince rescued her and...happily ever after.

When my son dozzed off, I read the story again as it some how brought out the child spirit inside me. And something caught my attention....

Hey...do you notice that there is a deeper meaning to this fairy tale ?

Rapunzel had lived locked up all her life. And she was repeatedly brain-washed about her ugliness. Her stepmum repeatedly reminded her about this. Until a prince came to her rescue.

Based on my personal opinion, "Rapunzel was kept imprisoned by her own inferiority complex". Not because of the tower nor her wicked mum. If she was brave enough and confidence...she would have find ways to run away. There were many ways which she could...like using her long hair as a rope or shouting for help. I'm sure she could use her brains. She doesn't really needed the prince to climb up to to the tower to bring her down...! Do women really need to depend on men to survive..?

Rapunzel courage and confidence were only triggered when the prince emerge before her. She began to recognise her own beauty when the prince describe it to her. Then only she saw the importance of setting herself free.


All of us have this inferiority complex buried deep inside us. We dare not admit our capabilities and often worry about our own weaknesses. We seldom focus on our strength. That is the reason why we don't set ourself free. And often get hurt over critism.

You see..for the past months, I had been traumatised by my very own inferiority feelings. It had been bothering me for months. Now I learned a lesson. Thanks to Rapunzel.

Any comments...?

This Long Wait....

Insecurity
Heartache,
Sleepless Nights,

I'm doubtful that those people are really helping me,
I seems to be getting all kinds of assurance words from them,
Which tend to create some kind of peaceful feelings in me,
However right till today,
There is still no sign of a conclusion nor verdict,
Instead it's still dragging on and on,
Looks likely that this case is gonna prolong
I just can't wait for this entire episode to end,
So that I can proceed with my life,
Perhaps GOD is testing my patience,
I am starting to feel extremely tired,
To fight in this battle,
Though my inner soul kept whispering "There's hope, Don't give up!"
For how long do I have to wait and suffer ?
Am I not given a second chance at all ?
Can someone please give me an ANSWER...?

Prisoner

'Thoughts of a prisoner'


The journey is long,
Painful imprisoning.
There's no freedom,
Any more.

I sleep to be free,
But my dreams aren't peaceful.
Scary things happen,
For which I want to get off.

I need to get off.
For I'm not a criminal,
What did I do?
Imprisoned by my thoughts,

Once proved right.
No hope of escape,
Still on suicide watch.

No space,
No freedom.
Stop the world,
I've had enough.

The journey must end
With freedom,
Release from pain.
I can't carry on in prison
For something
I didn't do.