My Interview

Had been busy preparing for my interview the past week.  Ya..today is THE DAY.  Will be attending my interview at 10am later.  Tried to absord as much facts as possible pertaining to our local education policies, budget, blue prints etc.  Too much to remember to the details.  Tend to forget most of it and most of the time, the facts overlapped and I gotten confussed.  


However, I had a good rest last night.  This morning, as I was lying in bed, suddenly all the facts just flow like a breeze when I recalled them.  They emerged like the bursting fountain gushing out .......I hope my anxiety doesn't over-ruled my confidence later.  I know that I do not have good interpersonal skills and often gotten tongue tied when striking a conversation with people. 


I hope and wish I could get through the interview smoothly.  Yes...Jo can definitely make it. 

Betrayal

Upon seeing your woman being hugged by another man would be too unbearable and hard to swallow. It’s definite for a man.  Loyalty and trust are viewed as key requirements in a relationship. Keeping a relationship in proper requires high level of dedications and willingness on both parties involved.  Investment of energy, time and effort to keep the sparks is enormously high.    

However under circumstances, a woman may betrays her man…perhaps due to…emmm only she herself knows the answer. 

Recently, I was deeply engrossed with a TVB drama  L'Escargot - 抉宅男女. 

Am more interested with the minor @ supporting roles between Ron Ng and Linda Chung and Michael Tse.  A love entanglement between a devastated boyfriend and a fragile lady with a greed loving man.  Too complicated to be put into words.

My question here….

Why does man gets so agitated when knowing his lady “bed” another man ?  But he himself is free bed hop all his life….!!!  Why is a woman branded as sluts when she sleeps around but otherwise for a man..?  Just wonder why it’s always socially acceptable for a man to bed hops but not the same for a woman…?  Something to ponder about…

However, in today’s time, the fairer sex @ women seems to have catch up with the men in terms of acquiring the reputation of bed-hopping.  And many guys of today begin to accept this fact and willingly take in women with baggage !!

What say you….

Heartbreak

A woman broke a man's heart.

By being on another man's arm

The man gotten so hurt.

That he cried out loud.

BETRAYAL....

Clip taken from a TVB drama L'Escargot episod 18.

The Piano

Life is like a piano
the white keys represent happiness
and
the blacks show sadness
But as one goes thru life journeys
the black keys also create music.

Boredom

This blog has been neglected for quite some time due to the writer's ignorance of not trying to spare time to create something.  It has been ages since I write something 'solid' that make sense.  Busy simply being a lame excuse.  New life cannot be the reason too.  Hectic schedules in school ~ nope, that's not the problem.  So WHAT.....? 
I don't know.  Perhaps, I have grown bored with blogging.  No longer have the inspiration to write.  Life has been exciting and boring at the same time that hinders me to blog.  Nothing interesting enough to publish.    

Dear readers,
Thousand apology.  Sorry, if you keep coming to my blog only to be greeted with the same old post ! Now, today....I decided to revive this blog of mine. Am literary ...giving it a new lease of life..  Though, it's impossible to blog on a daily basis, but I'll try my best to do it -weekly.  Decided to change it's concept a lil bit. 

Stay tune folks.   

Touching 41 today

Hmmm....yours truly is officially 41 today.  Thanks God...I'm still breathing and healthy.  My wishes for today is for world peace, happiness N health for myself  and Ah Boy growing up to be someone decent.

Got myself with a piece of 'super rich choc cake' with hazel toppings.  Home baked courtesy from a student's mum. 

Stricking back...again

This blog has been sort of abandoned for a long long time.  Well..it doesn't sounds good.  Hmmm..many a times...I planned to update it but many things seems to be blocking my attempts. 

I'm go tied up with my work in school and at home.  Will let this blog breathe again....

Gong Xi Gong Xi

Wishing all a Vibrant Dragon Year".

Birthday Party

Vividly remembered the day when I celebrated my tenth birthday. All my friends and neighbourhood kids were invited to the party.

For the party, I put on my birthday dress which I was specially sewn for me. I liked the big bow behind my back.  I was superslim that day.... 

I walked into the hall where everyone was waiting for me. I saw a lot of lovely presents being displayed at one corner. They had been bought for me by all those who came that day.  I was truly happy…ya for a 10 year old girl to receive so many presents, definitely my heart pumped zillion !!

Then, Ah Pa bought my birthday cake with ten candles on it. It was a large and beautiful cake. The guest sang Birthday song while I stood facing the cake.  I was the central of attention for everyone.  After that, I was asked to make a wish and cut it. Though I felt rather uneasy, with so many eyes upon me, I somehow managed to cut a line.  

The guests were then served with an array of yummy food prepared by mum.   Music was played. There were also jokes and laughter among the children.  My friends and I played some games-Musical chairs and card games.

When the party was over, I unpacked all my birthday gifts. I was surprised to see such lovely gifts. The happiness reflected in my face…..Thanking my parents for holding such a pleasant party for me although we weren’t from a well-to-d0 background. 

Fast Forward to today….eversince that  10^th birthday, I never have the privilege to celebrate my birthday on a big scale.  It was always within my family members having a simple meal or a birthday cake or sort.  Year in year out….I’ve approached my 40^th birthday !!    

Happy Birthday to dear me…. 

The big 4 Birthday

Suprises from the two boys of my life.  Thanks Dear. Thanks Ah Boy. 

Nothing much changesafter all.  It's a matter of figure and mathematics.  Physically and mentally, am still myself.  

Crisis...

Am savoring the last few hours of my 30s before the clock strikes 12.  Hmmm….how is it like to be 40 circle, my life getting better or worst ? 

Hitting the big 4 ol. Sigh..  

For the first time in my life, am feeling a sense of nervousness, uneasiness right now.  A sense of being completely lost in life and completely alone really does scare me off.  

For a moment, I’ve developed this feeling like I’ve lost my identity and no longer know who I am.  All my values, principles, belief system suddenly evaporated !  What I stand for and what is my purpose in life….am totally blank.  Am beginning to feel depressed as well.   

Attempting to analyse my emotions and feelings.  One thing for sure…I’m starting to feel myself getting ‘old’.  Old is the dreaded word…which was never a taboo in my life until recently.  I began to get agitated over this word.  Am I getting old…where now I’ve landed on my 4^th decade.  The inferiority complex in me.

Mid life crisis…is this a natural phenomena when one approach 40 ?  

Am I experiencing a mid life crises?  So many things crossing my mind…menopause !  Am I ready to face this “M” ? 

I guess it is normal to develop such insecurity.  At least, I do have the time to sit back and re-access my options and make changes if there’s any….

Happy 40^th Birthday to myself.  

Total Confusion

Being in a daze for months.  Can concentrate on just anything.....  Lost !!  Surprising...Work wise I'm doing fine and so is at home. Managed both reasonably well.  No complain from my headmistress nor my family members esp Ah Boy.  But I just can't focus.  When at work, I think about home.  And when at home, I think about work.  In a total confusion state. 



Wonder why am I feeling so suck..?  Is it the 'Big 4 ol' syndrome ? 
(Hint hint...it's around the corner..folks..!!!)    

Dilemma

To continue to not..?  Unable to decide.  Sigh..!  Should I further my studies, am I capable of doing my Masters ?  As my mind is still fresh and energetic (after having gone thru my 4 year degree), I think I should move on to a higher level.  But on the other hand, I doubt I have the capability and time to do it.  Had been sort off neglecting my boy for a long long time.  His growing age is important and he needs lotsa of motherly concern and care and guidance.  He's already in Std 4 and would be sitting for his UPSR in 2 years.  These 2 years are critical.  So if I continue my studies now (masters-2 years duration), then I would probably neglect him once again which I wish to avoid.  Nevertheless, if both of us do study together, this might give him the inspiration to achieve coz I could be a perfect role model to him.

Apart from time, my another obstacle is cash.  I needed to cough out a handsome amount of money for my masters.  A good sum of RM16K which I could save for Ah Boy's future etertiary education.  If i use up that $$ for myself, then indirectly I'm also using up Ah Boy's educational funds.

Time and cash, then commitment comes next.  How far can I concentrate on my studies at such 'advanced age'?  Going to be 40 next month.  My memory and concentration level depleting....!

Sigh....I'm in a total dilemma.  Should I or shouln't I..?  Any advice, dear readers ?

So near yet so far... 

    

Graduation Day

Ah....finally, I can shout to the entire world that I'm a grad.  Officially a graduate.  Four long grueling years of hardwork, I finally earn a piece of paper !!!!  I yearned for this day since the day I attended my first tutorial.  My convocation day was on 18th June @ PWTC KL.  I wasn't prepared for it, as a result, everything seems chaos and a bit clumsy.  Had a tough time adjusting my robe.  I've gotten the smaller size but it still abit too big for my petite figure.  Have I shrinked ?  hmmmm
My hair was messy and my face looked like a ghost due to fatigue.  Didn't sleep a wink the entire night before.  Heavy eyebags and pale skin.  Sigh...  I didn't look good at all on that day due to the overwhelming stress.   
However, the so many ruin downs didn't exactly spoilt the day though.  There was happiness and the anticipation was overflowing.  Am glad that I managed to step on stage to receive that priceless scroll after enduring so many obstacles and hardship.

I didn't have a good photographer to capture the moments of glory but all of it will stay in my memories for life.         

My updates...

Hi...I'm back after a month of disappearance.  Apologised for the absence. Been busy preparing for my convocation and my never-ending workloads in school.  Superbusy the entire month....

Day in day out, was tied up with work, attending endless meetings and courses...that I did not have much time left to update my blog.  Keep reading...

Labours' Day

Graduation Attire

Everyone were so obsessed over the Royal Wedding of the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge.  Her wedding gown...hmmmm.  Admired her slender hourglass !!!  Kate's every moves, her every utterances~had been scrutinized by hungry paparazzi.  Bride of the heir to the throne simply can't be camera-shy, rite?

Yours truly was glued to the TV screen the entire Friday afternoon....watching the telecast from Westminsters Abey.  Prince William and Princess Catherine do make a lovely pair.  She has the most beautiful smile.  May both of them live happily ever after.

Admiring the guests' esp the ladies gowns/dresses and matching headgears.  Very formal kinda of attire.  The bride's mother donned on a perfect dress.  So were a few other Royal guests.

Hmmm...mentioning about fashion and formality attire, yours truly is also busy preparing herself for her convocation day next month.  Am searching high N low for a proper good looking slack and blouse to match the graduation robe.  Nah...I don't have a personal designer to secure myself an outfit.  Gotta look for it myself which is pretty time consuming.  Should I opt for ready made straight from the rack or something special tailored made..?  hmmmmm...still pending...

It's a package....Hairstyle, new specs, new shoes....oh...don't you think I'm also preparing for my big day ?  Any suggestion, dear readers ?

Misery Days

It's THAT time of the month again.  Hated the discomfort, hated the ugly feeling inside.  The bloated-ness, the uneasiness underneath, heaviness abdomen and extreme disgusting sensation.   

Sigh….

Just made myself some warm ginger concoction…and yet the discomfort still persists.  I always dreaded this time of the month where my “Tai Yee Ma” comes visiting.  The ill feeling makes everything topsy turvy and usually put my daily activities temporary on hold for couple of days.  

Am super tied up with my school duties.  Untangled reports and files.  Am also busy training my “Action Song” team.  The competition is merely days away yet my pupils still have not master their steps and lines.  Another load on my shoulders apart from my core business @ teaching. After this event..there come the 2^nd term exams.  Still haven’t finish the syllabus, due to my busyness and very much behind time.  Oh gosh !    

All the above spells another dreaded word “S T R E S S”.  Should avoid all these misery. Kept reminding myself to RELAX RELAX.

On a brighter side, am looking forward to my graduation day schedule on 18 June.  Am making preparation for my big day…walking down the aisle to receive a well deserved scroll.  

Better Dinner Treat

Had a lousy lunch this noon.  For dinner, am replenishing my body with something more nutritious (sort off) and better looking and tastier.  More balanced, I supposed.  Salty beancurd pork fillet, Tofu topping with minced meat, Lady's fingers blended onion, Fried mackerel and Prawn fritters.  Not forgetting the onion rings.  Hmmm...a bit too oily and not heart friendly but they simply taste good.  Once in awhile lah....

Lady's Finger with onion

Salted Beancurd Bak

A variety of deep fried goodies

(prawn fritters, onion rings, fish, fries, crab meat sticks)

Minced meat tofu



Everything on the table



Ready to savour dinner

And end of the meal, fruits of mango and pear.  And hearty carrot milk to drain down the oily stuff.   

Fragrant pear and mango

A decent meal...!!!

Quickie Lunch

Long and tiring day in school.  Endless reports to do.  Training my "Sunshine Team" students.  Came back home, dog tired.  As usual no food on the table, no maid to serve me food....as a result got to DIY.   Instant Noodle ala Ann.  Blanch some 'dou miow' @ snowpea sprout (mersed briefly in boiling water).  These greenish shoots are believed to be riched with Vitamin Vit C and K.

Then some tomatoes and oinons.  No MSG as I used my own seasoning of Kikoman soya sauce and some home meade garlic oil.  Sprinkle abit of pepper...taadaaaa...a healthy meal.  Then I had this chicken floss cookies as dessert.  Yummy and filling.  No quite balanced but I'll cook a proper dinner later this evening.