Crisis...

Am savoring the last few hours of my 30s before the clock strikes 12.  Hmmm….how is it like to be 40 circle, my life getting better or worst ? 

Hitting the big 4 ol. Sigh..  

For the first time in my life, am feeling a sense of nervousness, uneasiness right now.  A sense of being completely lost in life and completely alone really does scare me off.  

For a moment, I’ve developed this feeling like I’ve lost my identity and no longer know who I am.  All my values, principles, belief system suddenly evaporated !  What I stand for and what is my purpose in life….am totally blank.  Am beginning to feel depressed as well.   

Attempting to analyse my emotions and feelings.  One thing for sure…I’m starting to feel myself getting ‘old’.  Old is the dreaded word…which was never a taboo in my life until recently.  I began to get agitated over this word.  Am I getting old…where now I’ve landed on my 4^th decade.  The inferiority complex in me.

Mid life crisis…is this a natural phenomena when one approach 40 ?  

Am I experiencing a mid life crises?  So many things crossing my mind…menopause !  Am I ready to face this “M” ? 

I guess it is normal to develop such insecurity.  At least, I do have the time to sit back and re-access my options and make changes if there’s any….

Happy 40^th Birthday to myself.